Story of My Life

I was born in a small town near Ploiesti, in Romania. I was a naughty child, even though everybody was under the impression that I’m very quiet and good. They even used me as an example to other naughty kids. I like to think that I was very smart, by the age of 5 I could easily do math problems and read with no impediment. In kindergarten my teacher often asked me to read slide films subtitles. All in all I was above average.

Being such and adventurous and unsettled child, at the age of six I had an accident and lost my right eye. I was haunted for many years by this handicap, especially because kids were very mean. But along the way I met some friends that taught me to accept and embrace my problem and in no time I was talking and joking freely about it

I had my first kiss on the mouth in 6^th grade I think. It wasn’t all that nice, especially because she said afterwards that we need to take it down a notch and wait before making out properly. I was a real ladies man, if you can say that about a middle school boy, I had many admirers and before 8^th grade I had like 3 or 4 girlfriends. Of course, having a girlfriend at that age meant only holding hands and sitting next to her in the classroom.

I had my first love in 11^th grade. She approached me first, since I was a very shy boy at the time. My first thought was that she was playing a very cruel joke on me, her being so beautiful and all. But she wasn’t. She really liked me and we started going out. I remember when she first told me that she loved me I was lost in those words, I felt I was invincible and that I could fly and, of course, I had a mega boner. We had some really fun times together. She taught me a lot about love, life and all kind of stuff and I was, for the first time in my life, really happy. But like all good things, it wasn’t meant to last and after a while we kind of drifted apart and broke up. We still stay in touch though, she’s a great person to know.

My second and last real love happened when I was in first year of college. I really can’t compare the two, but I will say at least that this one was more mature and much more powerful. The great thing was that we had a lot in common, we played lots of video games and she kicked my ass a lot at quake 3. She still does. We had our first kiss on the 27^th of December, our name day, which made it all the more special. The problem with this relationship was that it was a long distance one and it was hard on both of us. We made it work, though, for about seven or eight months and because by the time it started to go downhill I wasn’t the best boyfriend to her so she eventually decided to end it.

I was really broken up about it mainly because it’s true what they say, you don’t really appreciate someone until you lose them. We haven’t spoken for about two months and the way we started speaking again was me drunk texting her to come and have a one night stand with me. Oh how lame I was at the time. But things took a turn for the better and now we are very good friends and she’s one of the few persons that truly understands me and believes in me. I can’t thank her enough for all the things that she has done for me, for all the times she helped me solve my problems.

Since her I really haven’t been able to maintain a serious relationship. I don’t know why. Maybe I was to shy to ask a girl out or maybe I haven’t found the right girl yet. I had a few crushes, the most serious last year. We hang out a lot, we used to jam, me playing the guitar and she with her beautiful voice. I really started to like her even though everybody was owondering why. She was a very complicated person, and even I had a hard time understanding her. But i liked her with all her flaws and weird stuff. We were great together. But it went downhill when I pulled the Ted Mosby stunt on her and told her I loved her. She freaked out and said she won't talk to me anymore. That messed me up a bit for some time, but with the help of my friend and a lot of thinking, i got over it.

We started talking again after one month or so, but it was never gonna be the same. I still had some feelings for her, but I decided that it was for the best to hide them. The sad part was that she told me one time she was considering getting together with me but then I said what I said and she got scarred. Fuck my life very much, thank you. Another thing that kind of unsettled me was that she was so freely talking about her boyfriends and her sex life, but I never told her that bothered me. Not at that time at least. We currently don't talk anymore mainly because I was so needy and she wasn't always there, she ignored me a lot and when I confronted her about it she said i'm an asshole. So there's that.

At the moment,  all I know is that I am ready to love. I am still searching for that one person that will understand how much warmth I have to give, that will accept all my craziness and that will understand the kind of person that I am. And to that girl I say this: I will find you, I will meet you and I will make you love me like you have never loved before. Just be patient because I kind of suck at things. But I know one thing, I promise that I will show you the heights on which love can take you and you will never have to be sad again.